Holi Hai!!! But does that give right to people to do anything they wish?

It has been almost a week ago that everyone was in the colourful mood of Holi; and since then I was wondering how to pen down my thoughts for the same. Since a week the incident is revolving in my head. Blessed with a good memory, I remember very vividly celebrating Holi with my friends and family and then going out for a ride with a gang of 8 other friends. All you could see everywhere was people with coloured faces! After all it was Holi. But does that give right to people to do anything and everything that they like?

I remember all of us taking our bikes and few of them got in the car and as we were coming back home; a group of 8-10 boys forcefully try to stop our running vehicle (which almost made us meet an accident) and put coloured water on us; firstly on my sister and then me! What do we do in such situations? Simply ignore and move on? I decided against it! We stopped the vehicle and got down and moved ahead to question this gang as to why did they do that inspite of we not allowing them. And the answer that they gave was "Holi hai". The answer was enough to ignite the boiling anger in me and here goes a tight slap rite on that guy's face. Yes, I slapped him hard. And then two more guys stepped forward to question me and BOOM-BOOM. Yes, I slapped both of them too. In d minutes that followed, all my friends got down to the scene and had heated arguments with that Gang; gradually getting separated off. It was a mess and that too in the middle of a busy road.

Later criticism showered on me. "What I did was wrong. Things could have gone worse", said one of my friend present at the scene. "Its Holi and people do that. You should not have objected and made a mess", said the other. And it was so on and on. But I still stand by that what I did was right. I don't regret it. And the reason why I don't regret is not because I think I am a lady DON or I like to show people who I am. But I have my own different reasons to support it. I am not born and brought up in the family where you can simply slap people. With the exception of the above small incident, I have never seen violence in the my entire life and I don't even intend to see any more. But we live in a world where everybody tends to have a "Chalta hai" attitude because its not happening to you but to someone else. Everybody is least bothered when something wrong is done to others. Nobody dares to speak and they justify it by saying that "We cant speak up for others but atleast we are not doing wrong to others" Is that a justification to bear wrong things in the society? The only reason the guys had the guts to stop us in the middle of the road because there were two girls alone on the road! I don't say its always the fault of guys. I have no intention of passing any gender biased statement over here. All I want to say and insist is we live in a society where injustice prevails everywhere. But sitting idle and doing nothing about it wont change anything. By saying this I don't ask everyone to stop living your normal life and quit your work and start social service or revolutionary camps. But be honest in your daily chores and exchanges. Stand and speak up for the wrong and injustice around you. Its we who have to start even if nobody else stands up. An individual can make a lot of difference. I request everybody of you to start making a difference. I don't know how many of my friends present at the scene are reading this and how many of rest will read it but I just hope it does make a difference some where. 

There are no Fairy Tales -2 !!!

The morning has been a bit rough on me as his thoughts came rushing to my mind all the time today. It's been seven years today that he left me on those benches and I still wonder was it for any good. Certainly not! I have moved on in these past years but a part of me still holds him. Everybody around me thinks I have moved on as it was just a heart break and I have survived them earlier. I had been into relationships even earlier. Got attached to people emotionally and still moved on bravely when things dint work out. But with him, it was all different. I never knew what Love was till he walked in my life. I was myself with him and he accepted me with all my flaws. What he gave me is the best of him; The Best of what he could to anybody. If Love means being united with the other half; then I was united with him.

Purab, my husband, enters the room which brings me back to the reality. We have been married since last 2 years and I respect him from the core of my heart. Ours has been a mutual relationship, right from the decision to marry each other to till date. He has been caring and kind but I never could love him. I wonder why is that so. Why is the desire to love outweighs the desire to be loved? And so often we are not able to reciprocate the love to those who love us. Why is this Love so complex?

Interrupting my thoughts, Purab asked me few questions about my daily plans and I replied to him which seemed a monotonous task for both us. And when he left for a walk, I again wondered 'What is True Love?' 'Was he, the one who left me earlier, my True Love?'.. These questions keep haunting me and may be I will never figure out what exactly Love is!!!

Life is an implied risk!

May be it sounds a bit out of the way but when we give a deep thought to it; “Life is an implied risk”. Every decision that we take in our life has risk in it. You decide to take engineering because you love to be one but again a risk whether you can earn a decent living out of it. You love someone and decide to marry and be with that person forever but again a risk your beloved can leave you at any point of time.  You take up a job and you want to build a career over there but your company can throw you anytime. With so many unexpected surprises that come up in our life; every decision we make is a risk.

And life, I believe, is facing such every surprise; surviving such every risk; justifying such every decision for your own self. And at the same time enjoying every minute of it because that is what the vision of life has to be “Enjoy it..Live it..Be Happy”  

There are no fairy tales!!! - 05.09.11

I had just landed home after a tiring journey of 15 days and wanted to take a taxi home and get into the comfort of my bed; when he called up and insisted that he will come and pick me up from the airport.  I resisted; but in vain. (I have always known he is stubborn). Hence I waited for him to come. Deep inside I knew he wanted to talk and I needed to listen but somehow I was not ready. He has always been very loving and caring and that was not because he loved me but that what he actually is. That’s how we were even when friends. And now we are together and happy. He is just the best of what I could ever desire. I know I can’t live without him. He was the Prince Charming in my fairy tale.  When I was completely engrossed in his thoughts, I heard him calling my name as he approached me. We got inside the car. There was complete silence inside the car until I finally asked “Where are we going?” “To our favourite place”, he replied.  No sooner did he say that I realised we were already there. Those benches were our favourite place to sit. We have spent most of our time there sitting and dreaming of a future together; making each other thousands of promises. All were so true. But today when he sat next to me, he kept a considerable distance and I could sense something wrong. “I am sorry” was all that he said and it took me a while to let these words sink inside me.  I expected him to say something nice like ‘Dont worry honey..We will make it together’. But he was saying something else. “We have to get separated” were his next words.  And I was able to feel something breaking inside me. He went on, “I have a reason why I am doing this. But I can never explain you the reason..” Silence followed and he knew I waited for more.. “I don’t love you anymore” was what he spoke finally. I wanted to cry right there holding him but I dint wish to show him that I am weak even though he knew it. He left.

Three years have elapsed. And I still remember that night distinctly; and everything that followed. The worst part was I have no answers why he did that and I still don’t have any. It was hard to believe that everything we shared was over and everything that meant world to me was nothing to him. And the hardest part was the realisation that all the good things he said were a lie. It still is hard. Needless to say many sleepless nights followed when I cried silently. Somehow I am still not able to move on. For people, including him, it was just a heart break that just needed some time to heal; But for me he gave me injuries on my soul..

Love, I have started believing, doesn’t exist. For people it’s just attachment that they tend to have towards few people with whom they spent more time and it keeps changing. Everything changes. There are no fairy tales!!!! Trust no one. The only thing that I have started believing and that kept me going is that everybody loves us for a reason except our parents who love us truly. That’s the lesson I learnt at adolescence.

Lesson Learn At Adolescene.. 08.08.11

Everybody was very happy; and so was I in the morning as it was our last High School picnic. Yes, 10^th  Grade.. :)

But my best friend had a fight with me and she was not speaking to me since so many days. I thought picnic would make things better but it was in vain. Long back these things mattered so much. The small fights with friends were the only thing that worried us. That is the beauty of adolescence days. But those adolescence days taught me a lesson.

I remember sitting silently in corner when my teacher approached me. Somehow he knew I was upset and the fight was a big one. Everybody knew as I was sitting alone. And as we always say; a Teacher (or a Guru) is not only a mentor but a friend too; and that’s what he proved. He taught me certain things which might be harsh to learn at that age but which were true to its words. The lesson follows: “Whatever relations we build up on this earth, at the end what follows is LONLINESS with lots of memories. Everybody loves us for a reason; our friends, spouse, siblings, relatives etc. So it hurts and it is gonna hurt always. The only people who love you without any reason are your parents and it is to them you owe your life. They are the only two people who will never hurt you. The life is a journey that sooner or later you need to tread alone”

And it took me an entire lifetime to realise this.

Love - 30.03.11

Is there any deficiency of love in this world? I really don’t think so. But there is deficiency of expressing it. There is deficiency of people who are afraid to love as it hurts. We grow; become young and fall in love and thus follows break ups and we lose our love. It hurts; a lot. And that stops us from loving again. We are scared to get hurt again. We have lot of love within us and we long for someone to love us in return but we don’t express it. and that’s why the world is so loveless :(

Relations - 25.03.11

Ever wondered how a relations start?  It starts wit a gesture; with a smile; with an eye contact. All these are nothing but miracles through which God connects us to other beings on this earth. We have a family. We meet people. We make relations. We laugh and cry with them. We share and care with them. So where does the problem start? Why are so many people not happy? They are disappointed; disheartened. Coz they expect and  that’s  human nature to expect from people they love. Is it ever possible to live without expecting anything from others? I doubt..!!  It is never possible to sum up your entire life in words. It is not possible to remember minute instances of childhood clearly. It is not possible to live without any expectations from your near and dear ones. Expectations hurt but is the life worth living without expectations..?? We are honest and happy but people cheat us; and that’s nature. We cant expect a lion to not to eat us coz we are vegetarian. We got to move on with these injuries on our soul.. Be happy within your own self. You cant expect others to make you happy when u r sad. Give a lot and expect v v v less. And all the relations in this world will make u happy. Marry the one who loves u but also be sure one day u will fall in love with him/her. Marry the one who is sincere and not serious. Make him your partner to whom you trust the most coz that will make ur life easy. N keep them happy who love and trust you. Last bt not the least. Have faith in God. Coz if u start worrying then What will God do...!!!